Friday, July 28, 2006

and yeah

i got this haircut from emma rose and saralee.



i look like a fuckin hipster which pretty much means i can't see a goddamn thing.




___________________________________


god. ben fold's the luckiest is probably the saddest song i've ever heard.

and there are a few.

___________________________________

next endeavor:

something about soulmates.

and how there aren't any.

but how that's everything.

what else can i say

everyone is leaving Elsewhere. it's 5 AM on friday and within the next 12 hours, the remaining 8 of us will be gone. george is still running around getting things together for their long awaited vacation. saralee's off to GA, julia and dan are headed home. kat's off and about and jay and i are headed with his brothers to the dan river for the canoe race starting in VA. Elsewhere's been a lot like indoor camping, so i don't think the adjustment will be that bad. i'm planning on killing myself as many ways as possible this weekend (i.e. drowning, falling off a bmx bike, etc).

in other news, we've been slaving away in the storefront of king's english, the ad agency around the corner from elsewhere. it looks brilliant:






4 days. we finished today. picture saralee, george, steph and me stuck in a greenhouse, baking, with stapleguns, 40 year old fabric swatches and an ironing board. yeah. i wasn't perturbed about waking up at a normal morning hour since monday to bake in the glass box, between nights of fun debauchery, but there's something about george's methods of alarm clocks. this morning he walked into land sea and air singing home on the range. yesterday it was bribery by bagel. (the green bean has the best bagels.)
either way there is now a HAZMAT "terist" lounging in the hammock at king's english, another one scaling the wall elsewhere style. the plan is to spread the HAZ terist's (southern pronunciation of "tourist", suspiciously like "terrorist") all over greensboro. 1 window down, another few hundred to go. elsewhere elsewhere.







i gave saralee and chris a photoshoot.
i want stephanie's camera.

yesterday, kat, graham, jay, and i ended up at the burro for margueritas, to stare inquisitively at the remnants of the girls gone wild crowd and even more so at a muted survivor episode. burritos are always fun though. for some reason i ended up meeting someone who went to blair academy. that's right. fuckin sussex county in greensboro, NC. the guy even knew an older brother of someone i played soccer with forever. and knew that high point isn't just the name of the town 15 minutes from here. crazy. jay and i promptly beat them at cornhole (think horseshoes with beanbags and a board with a hole in it instead of a stake. yeah i didn't know either.) and they bought us more drinks. beginners' luck.

it's now 6 AM practically and i told jay i'd be awake by 8 to bike to the store for pasta (the one ingredient we forgot at harris teeter's for pasta salad, go figure). after that down lee st for laundry and up to the YMCA for a shower before getting back elsewhere to hit the road.

CRAZY

things are comfortably bright. despite me being alone in underwater world with the lights to 606 off. shiver.

have a glorious weekend. see you this end of the dan.




PS i was listening to arcade fire and someone i was talking to mentioned the term rockoff and i got a sense of home. i do miss it.
i was listening to animal collective, blinked, and was driving on the turnpike, the shadows flaring and waving...

good bye kelvin, see you soon. the south is nice. i hope you have the best wedding, katie. i wish i could've been there to see.
good night NJ.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

it is what it is

i am no poet and this isn't about poetry.
it is what it is.
free.
in the face of it all -- forgive me for my timing and the lack thereof, my hallmark language and nonchalance:


we rode north on elm
the lights were perfect
the streets deserted
a movie set, artificial bliss
empty developments, wooded roads, and an endless stretch
we rode out to escape elsewhere
anywhere but there
15 miles and past city limits
greensboro receded into the past, the distant past
past lakes and their reflections, life, its transparent counterpart
we rode north past fields
as the city slept
out to a church with its blackened windows
under the streetlamps, the shadows flicker and flare
beneath the spokes
we rode down air harbor
airport
miles of white, another terrain
visceral
and out until we thought we were free
'let's find the end' we said
and the wind shrieked and whistled us on

the end came in cookie cutter houses and deserted windows
right or left, here or back
we ended at a roundabout
curving with the cul de sac
the wind silenced, peddling uphill
the repetition of the recent past
trudging by
with the sudden coolness of reality
full circle

we tried to leave
we tried to escape
stretch the first circle elliptical
stretch it to a line, infinite
but it always comes back
and roundabout we are back again

we are nothing here
neither here nor there
a tiny fragment of time
a knot to become undone
parts to the puzzle never truly assembled
nothing goes but nothing stays
ripped and sewn

we live in this childhood world
a fantasy with adult repercussions
we love and war
the romance
but what do we expect
the idealism of adolescence tears at our senses

we rode in a dream
through an intoxicating cloud
we pushed against the border
a synthetic womb
but found ourselves flung back
the harsh truth of life and loss
cutting our cheeks as we digress

we ride in a dream
a straight line, there and back
but somehow elsewhere

03:21, 07.22.06






time is a lie

i is we

Sunday, July 23, 2006

vitality

i'm in a very good mood.


i was just thinking of walking back to the apartment on cedar lane, under the train bridge, through the park.
something about the sun makes everything seem alive.




Current Sound:Modest Mouse. Garlic chopping.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

The distance in your eyes

Every whisper
Of every waking hour I'm
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool, fool
Oh no, I've said too much
I set it up
Consider this
Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I've said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream
That was just a dream



You want me?
Well come on and break the door down
You want me?
Fucking come on and break the door down
I'm ready

I want to
I want to be someone else or I'll explode
Floating upon this surface for the birds



AM and there's no time for the sun.

Monday, July 17, 2006

elsewhere1

well i figure i should explain.

I am Elsewhere. Elsewhere as of last Friday was home to about 20 people (George, Stephanie, Saralee, Robin, Emma Rose, Jessica, Julia, Angela, Cara, J, Jeff, Jeff, Kat, Seth, Dan, Joseph, Robert, and me with the frequent visits by Chris, and other Elsewhereian friends).

My plane was delayed 2 Saturdays ago at Newark because the back door of the baggage wouldn't close properly. After trying to slam it shut for an hour, they gave up, herded us off the AA flight and onto another half an hour later. [the clouds are a different world.] As Raleigh came into focus i saw the tiny squares of golf courses and developments and got a little scared. Worry was soon squelched when I met Angela at the escalator, in patterns and plaids, waiting with a little sign I couldn't read. I'm sure it said my name; we were the only ones in the terminal and stood there squinting at each other. funny. The ride back to Greensboro with green signs and green trees looked a lot like the good old garden state. Angela and I talked about what to expect of things. I was excited.

When we turned down S Elm, the street lights were on and there was a jackhammer in the middle of the street. When I got to 606 and 608 S Elm, I found everyone in a state of revelry. In retrospect, it was probably one of the best times to be thrown into the mix. I was the 4th person to have gotten to Elsewhere in the last week; some had been there since the beginning of June. A tequila shot and lime and I was on my way to getting to know Elsewhere.

Backtrack: to explain [as i know it]. Elsewhere Artist Collaborative is organized and run by George Scheer and Stephanie Sherman. In 1939, George's grandparents, Joe and Sylvia Gray, opened a used furniture store on S Elm in Greensboro, NC. Joe's death in 1955 left Sylvia to run the storefronts of 606 and 608 S Elm herself to support her family. She expanded the shop to include a generous array of thrift (buttons to books to fabric to shoes to toys and dolls to cash registers and army surplus), amassing a huge collection of things which she treasured until her death in 1997.
Fast-forward to 2003: the store has been sitting untouched for six years. George and Stephanie began excavating the space, making a policy not to sell or discard anything. They have adapted it into a living museum--an installation space, a playhouse, a Roxaboxen--in which artists can come and play and explore among the rooms of stuff while creating a community between artists, staff, and interns. Buttons are currency; vintage dress-up is a daily habit; communal dinners are served nightly in the co-op at the back of the store with chore charts that rotate amongst the occupants. (I prefer washing dishes, even if for 20 people.) Every person has some desk in some shape or form [Amidst the library shelves is where I be] to



There's something amazing about this space; I can't quite explain it. My phone has been off and silent for the past week +. I carry nothing but the occasional key on ribbon. I think I'm getting lost in the distance. In some ways I think it's what I needed and I don't mind.

The first Saturday, the 8th, was the "Alley Shabang", the grand opening for Elsewhere. Like I said, first night, everyone intoxicated (something about george gurgling on the floor); Emma Rose pulled me off to the clothing in the fabric workshop; Robin said something about showing her boobs; Joseph had pigtails. I walked in on a fabulous week.


The first Sunday, went to the Green Burro with Joseph to watch Italy beat France, much to Mr. Mougel's dismay. Joined by Kat, Alex and Saralee, whose hang-overs weren't so bad.

Monday, first day at the front of the store: was told by a lady that I spoke English "real good" which was surprising considering my "china eyes". I said "thank you"; should've said "'well'".

Robert arrived early last week and made the fourth addition to our room, "Land, Air and Sea". Joseph says it looks like the inside of a naval ship. I say it looks like a hunting lodge. Too many pheasants. With a bed in every corner, it should be "Four Corners". Dan suggested making our beds into boats and planes. Currently I have a tombstone with a black crow as the headboard. I am the first female occupant in some time and it shows.

Went to the YMCA with Emma Rose and Julia and was surprised at the nice conditions of the showers. (Elsewhere does not have a working shower let alone the warm water to bathe 20 people. There also is no electricity upstairs save for an organized jumble of extension cords leading from downstairs.) Went back to the Y a few days later to take advantage of the pool with Julia, Emma, Kat, Jeff and Robert. [I can't swim.]

Watched Jeff 1 and Seth drive bouncy balls off the roof with golf clubs. Neon doesn't show in daylight.

"Broke" the word processor twice that I was working on while printing out old documents for Seth. They don't make technology like they used to.
Good.

Hit into and on at a gas station at 4 am. Would've been offended if it wasn't so very ridiculous.

Tied with Angela for the "Paint Mixing" Olympic competition a la J in front of Elsewhere. Represented NJ. Alex turned seafoam green and came in last.

Helped pull and dry ribbons for Angela outside in the alley.
Drew first drawing

Cleaned out and organized the closet room upstairs so the racks wouldn't fall on us with emma rose, jessica, saralee and julia as she hacked out a lung on the dust.

Sat around in Cara's Natural History Museum in the storefront. Baseball socks, portraits of sylvia, trinkets in jars. It looks beautiful.

Stayed up late downstairs. Robin fell asleep with her computer on her lap.

Talked with Seth over yuenglings about new york and running toward downtown on 9/11. [emotions differ from experience]

Thursday was Jeff's performance night, STILLLIVES WITH SOUNDBITES, a great show despite the hiccup in the power. [thank you thunderstorms] It reminded me of mgsa, plum, and home. [i miss...]

Lots of conversation and camels, parliaments, and a severe lack of lighters at the little table in the alley.

Friday night was the opening for the artists in residence/journey people: Angela Zammarelli, Joseph Mougel, Jeff Thompson, and Robin Brasington. Robin's video got off the ground thanks to an old stereo and couple of right connections. The Hotel Lobby was cleaned up to serve yellowtail. Cut out event fliers. Ran around documenting Angela and Joseph's performances before the batteries went dead. Watched the store from 10-11, collected donations. Talked with Shelly and showed my work online to her and Jeff 2. Jeff 1's repeat performance. Excitement. Dispersion.
After grilled cheese, went walking down the train tracks out back and felt like an extra from Stand by Me. Wandered into a sparse graveyard at 4 am.
Sat on the roof after contacting sylvia inadvertantly via ouija with joseph and chris and felt small and immense. The sky is a snowglobe.

Early morning, walked to Smiths Diner forever away near the ballpark for breakfast with Chris, J, and Joseph. Can't get over the pig brains. Exhausted over coffee.

Saturday night, Jeff and Stephanie rode down Elm Street on bikes dressed respectively as a pumpkin and batman tossing bags of candy corn with elsewhereelsewhere.org tags at the overflowing crowds of Greensboro while Cara, Dan, and I followed quickly behind with the camera. Jeff's bike is orange and matches eerily well.
Went to Fincastle's for burgers after Jeff asked via teddy bear so nicely. Sat around and took Emma Rose's soda bottle home. [the collections have to start somewhere.]

Flashed by Robin.

Went for a spectacular bike ride with Joseph Saturday night. Rode through UNCG's campus, deserted and beautiful. Ended up way the fuck out of the way, a parking lot at a new shopping mall under construction. Rode down the double yellow line of a 2 lane highway at full speed around 3 AM. Came upon an amazing sight: a telephone pole defying gravity, levetating, splintered in half by the blow, the bottom half thrown across the intersection, the top hanging vertically in midair, suspended by the wires above. Skid marks and oil led to the pickup truck, smashed in to the cab, propped up on the curb, empty. A neighbor called to the cop that the driver had run off into the neighborhood. Drugs and stolen property joseph says; i just think lunacy. We decided to look for the madman ourselves, drove inbetween the houses. Gave up and found a playground to swing around on until dawn. [talk about life.] Funny that if we hadn't stopped to smoke, we could've been at that intersection. [cigarettes save lives.]

Weekend: Both Jeffs, Seth, and Robin left Elsewhere.

Drove an hour to tube down the Dan River Sunday afternoon with Emma Rose, Julia, J, and Joseph. J looked at home the instant he touched the water. Climbed rocks and watched tubers on acid freak out about a "water snake"[stick]. Dragged an old blown out tube up from the bottom for J. Relaxed. The beer cans escaped more than once. Took a walk down the road and found an old Confederate furnace from the Civil War. Attempted to climb but not for long.

Sunday night, biked to suds and duds with J, Joseph, and Dan, our laundry in tow, around 10 pm. Drank beer in the bar in back while the laundry dried.

Played the cow version of "piano bouncy ball" with its creator J. Lost. Watched Twin Peaks with the girls. Romeo and Juliet. Underwater world...


____________________________

friday, 08.04.06 16:05

listen, there's no good way to process information here. there are a million ways and i haven't quite nailed them down yet. i've been here for almost a month and i'm still a bit off. So forgive me for this back entry so long overdue. it's taken a bit to get it all out.





CURRENT MUSIC: Daft Punk, REM, Rusted Root, the Smiths, Eurythmics, Johnny Cash

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

elsewhere...shhh

secrets











Saturday, July 08, 2006

elsewhereelsewhere

i just got an email from stephanie from elsewhere.
seems like this is what i'm walking into tomorrow night.

good night!

Friday, July 07, 2006

reflect

I can't believe this was a year ago.

I guess a year is a long time. This was my time there.



Tomorrow, my plane leaves for Greensboro, NC, for my internship with Elsewhere Artists Collaborative. See you again August 23.